Suicide by asthma

I know. What a provocative title. But that has been a top worry for me...that I am going to commit suicide by asthma.

My asthma problems date back almost ten years, but I didn't get diagnosed until about a  year ago. It's a seasonal thing. The Fall and Winter  months area hard on me. However, I went almost totally unmedicated last year. Every medication I took agitated me. Forget a puffer. I think my central nervous system was already out of whack from other things and asthma meds were just too much for it.

So this year I boldly decided that I would rather just die from an attack rather than use medicine that would cause a nervous breakdown. I guess this would be like a form of suicide. Of course I chickened out. I started using an asthma control medicine daily. There were side effects but I got used to it. It is supposed to be less stimulating than albuterol. However, I came down with a cold :( And I have been getting this heavy feeling in my chest. Exhaling seems to put a strain on  my lungs, especially after going outside and being exposed to all of this cold weather. And  I have really considered using the puffer tonight...though I know what will happen. I will  get tremors and feel awful.

So I have resigned myself to staying in more, out of the cold, and sipping hot tea. That helps the lungs quite a bit :) Dunno what I would do if I had to work. Gotta give my airway a rest from this weather and run the humidifier tonight.

Personally, suicide by asthma is not my goal and I will try to prevent  it as best I can.