Showstopper

I love writing about the bizarre...so of course that means I am now writing about the Kardashians.

I was watching the teaser for Kourtney and Kim Take Miami. They were playing the song Showstopper, by Brandon and Leah. It's a sexy song, and as it plays we see Kim swimming underwater in her bikini and Kourtney tanning on a sun chair by the pool Kim is in. We are supposed to be thinking, These girls are showstoppers.

But why are they showstoppers? Why are their step brother Brandon and his wife Leah, the duo who made the song, not the showstoppers? Kim and Kourtney, hanging in bikinis....this should make for some good TV. Are we supposed to be anticipating only the bikinis? Maybe we can hope for some more talented Brandon and Leah songs...

I guess what nags me is the fact that Kourtney and Kim don't bring something special to the table. At least in my mind. They are not talented musicians or scientists working on interesting stem cell research that could change health care forever. They hang out in bikinis and extraordinarily expensive clothing. Perhaps we are supposed to be drawn to the fact that they are talented business women who own the Dash stores? But they are not advertised in the teaser as business women...they are portrayed as half naked women.

The cult of the personality should not make a showstopper of Kourtney and Kim. Showstoppers stop a show because they bring something very special to the table. They turn heads, and it should not be because they are in bikinis. It should be because they made that awesome bikini. Looking good can carry a show. But to stop a show...that takes innovation. You have to change the rules of the game and create a new one. Going along with it and moving it forward is the opposite of being a show stopper.

Barack Obama: Vampire Hunter

Because I have decided that I do not care about politics, and only care about vampires, I decided that I won't be writing about health care reform, school reform, etc. I'm just going to write about vampire reform.

What we do not realize is that this country currently has a shortage of vampire slayers. Often times they end up dead in some back alley somewhere, and they are almost always in their 20s. The average Joe might assume the poor slayer was a druggie who died of a drug overdose. They are often degraded and posthumously thought to be irresponsible adults. But that is only because no one ever thinks to check for vampire bites. Slayers have short life spans (for obvious reasons), and so there is a high turnover rate and a perpetual shortage. This is the biggest threat to America right now. Without trained vampire hunters, how can we ever hope to be safe in our beds? The vampires will surely take over the country before long!

Our most famous vampire hunter, Abraham Lincoln, was obviously an outlier. He survived well into middle age. And he was responsible for the biggest mass vampire slaying (during the Civil War) ever. He will always be remembered for his courage in battling the vampires who lived in the Southern states and would feed on plantation slaves. Thank God for the freeing of those slaves. To be sold to vampires as a midnight snack or dinner was a far worse fate than any other they could endure. Lincoln will always be remembered as our longest surviving and most influential vampire hunter.

 But currently, we have another famous slayer. He is the professional vampire hunter, Barack Obama. He is the first vampire hunter since Lincoln to survive into middle age and to become a president. Bravo Mr. President. Bravo. No longer able to feed on slaves, the vampires often abduct innocent children to feed on. But more recently, they caused a giant fungal meningitis outbreak when they attacked steroid recipients receiving their injections and thereby transmitted a deadly fungus, found only on the fangs of vampires, to the patients. The news blames it on faulty hygiene concerning the injections. But all educated people on the topic know the truth...these people died of a vampire attack. And our most famous hunter, who is one of the last greats, is too busy in office to slay these savages.

So please, regardless of who you vote for, just remember that vampires are our biggest issue as a nation right now. It is no longer enough to have our presidents serving as our vampire hunters. From what I understand, Mitt Romney has been training extensively with wooden stakes and a mighty battle axe, but what about the average American? It's not about what your country can do for you. It is about what you can do for your country! Fight the good fight! Make plenty of wooden stakes. Chop some wood so you can get the feel of an axe slicing into something. We all need to get involved and rid this country of vampires and their meningitis outbreaks and other catastrophes.

Thank you all soo much for listening.

Yoga :)

It's been a while since I wrote on here (didn't think there was too much interesting to say...keyboarding is so much different than putting a pen to paper. It's a different kind of thought process.).
But just for kicks, I am going to write about yoga. I had no idea how effective yoga can be. Where has it been all my life! I have tried yoga videos in the past, and I found myself to be too unwieldly to manage it. I am so clumsy and inflexible and could never get past much more than 20 minutes of the routines. However, I just checked out a yoga book, and Wow! Somehow, that book made all the difference.  It's called Moving Towards Balance: 8 Weeks of Yoga With Rodney Yee. It provides pictures and instructions on how to complete a different yoga routine every day for 8 weeks. It is really helping with my back pain and flexibility issues. I really think part of the reason it is so effective for me is because it is in book form. I am not trying so hard to follow along with a video and go at that pace. I can stop when I want with the book, I can shorten the routine, I can do it faster, I can listen to music, I can watch TV. It is a whole other yoga experience. I never thought I would end up a yoga fan, but it has helped my neck and shoulder pain so much that I want to do it every night...even when I think I might be too tired to do it. I was so tired last night that I thought I would skip. But I know how much it loosens up my back, so I did it anyhow. It was a good choice :)

Proud of Myself

I have been having a rough time lately, but I have been doing one thing right: getting organized.

I checked out 4 Weeks to Organized with ADHD. So, naturally, I misplaced the book :/ But other than that little mishap, I HAVE been getting more organized. On Day 1, I had to clear a space and make it totally uncluttered. My task was to spend an hour on it. In twenty minute intervals, I was to unclutter ny space (I chose my craft table), and make it my one and only totally organized, calm, serene, space. It worked! That is more than I have done in forever. I cleared it off, organized it, put essential items in a box so I could quickly grab them, set up my lamp, and put the air filter on top of it. Awesome! I also swept and mopped the floor around it. I even picked up my dust mitt and dusted off the chairs after spraying the table with cleaner and wiping it down with paper towels.

You are thinking "Wow! That was your big accomplishment?"

Dude you are NOT getting it. I cannot clean or organize. But I cleaned
and organized that big ol' space. I'm on Day 3 and I have already taken care of the whole bathroon which was a wreck. Floors swept and mopped, toilet scrubbed and shiny, shower scrubbed to a polish.

How am I doing this do you ask? Simple. Visualization. The book claims that ADHD people have trouble slowing down their brains and sequencing things. We are a visual people, and we respond to visualization. So the book instructed me to visualize myself cleaning in a sequence. Visualize myself grabbing the supplies  and cleaning. And voila! I am now able to organize and clean. Dang. Where has this book been all my life?

A Certain Lens

Again, I think of the "certain lens" subject. In my last post, I wrote about Juan (I'm pretty sure everyone who cares has seen the episode by now), and how Rodrigo buries him in The Borgia's. Rodrigo, the only person who seems truly heartbroken that his son has died, carries Juan outside and buries him. But the body Rodrigo sees is not his adult child. He sees Juan as a little boy, dead in his arms.

Sometimes, I feel like I am ruled by nightmares. Only they aren't happening at night. They are happening during the day. And I see certain people through those nightmares. It's like in The Hunger Games series, where the Capitol has the ability to "hijack" people. They give them trackerjack venom (the venom of ultra poisonous bees. It has the ability to make people very paranoid and suspicious). They can actually distort your feelings for people by showing you images of that person while you have trackerjack venom inside of you. That way you see the person through a very frightened and suspicious lens, and you can be turned against that person.

I think I've been hijacked sometimes. I have such bad memories, and I can't stop seeing some people in a certain light (and it's not a good one). I wish my memories could be hijacked in a good way.

Music, Tears, and the Borgias

I was watching The Borgias season finale. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. One of the scene's in the finale is so touching that you would have to be stone not to feel something. If you haven't watched it, it is a scene where someone is being buried. I don't cry at funerals, and I don't cry in movies. But this sccene made me tear up.

I think the saddest part, the part that made me feel remorse, was how the burial was depicted. The person buried is shown (metaphorically) in the way that he is viewed by the person burying him (and not how he looks in reality).

We all see everyone through a certain lens. And that lens is different for everyone. We all have a unique set of eyes that we see things through. I need to remember that.

Re-Traumatizing?

I have decided to give blogging a whirl...so here it goes.  Thought it might be fun. Hopefully, I will improve as time goes on.

Today's topic: Why do people tend to re-traumatize themselves over and over again?

I ask that question, because I don't know why I re-traumatize myself. I think the average person reading this will think, I don't re-traumatize myself over and over again! You must be talking about yourself. But I was watching Dr. Drew, and he says this many times, that humans are unique in that we are the only beings on this planet that actually tend to re-traumatize themselves.  When we experience a trauma, we bring that trauma back over and over again. I guess it would be like PTSD. Only instead of having flashbacks, people are trying to recreate the same bad set of circumstances over and over again. If you had mommy issues growing up, then you may end up marrying someone with all the same bad qualities as your mother. If you have a traumatic relationship with a bad boyfriend, then you may end up with a whole string of bad boyfriends afterwards.

Try new things. Take a different route. I need to use that philosophy for myself more often than not.