I love writing about the bizarre...so of course that means I am now writing about the Kardashians.
I was watching the teaser for Kourtney and Kim Take Miami. They were playing the song Showstopper, by Brandon and Leah. It's a sexy song, and as it plays we see Kim swimming underwater in her bikini and Kourtney tanning on a sun chair by the pool Kim is in. We are supposed to be thinking, These girls are showstoppers.
But why are they showstoppers? Why are their step brother Brandon and his wife Leah, the duo who made the song, not the showstoppers? Kim and Kourtney, hanging in bikinis....this should make for some good TV. Are we supposed to be anticipating only the bikinis? Maybe we can hope for some more talented Brandon and Leah songs...
I guess what nags me is the fact that Kourtney and Kim don't bring something special to the table. At least in my mind. They are not talented musicians or scientists working on interesting stem cell research that could change health care forever. They hang out in bikinis and extraordinarily expensive clothing. Perhaps we are supposed to be drawn to the fact that they are talented business women who own the Dash stores? But they are not advertised in the teaser as business women...they are portrayed as half naked women.
The cult of the personality should not make a showstopper of Kourtney and Kim. Showstoppers stop a show because they bring something very special to the table. They turn heads, and it should not be because they are in bikinis. It should be because they made that awesome bikini. Looking good can carry a show. But to stop a show...that takes innovation. You have to change the rules of the game and create a new one. Going along with it and moving it forward is the opposite of being a show stopper.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Barack Obama: Vampire Hunter
Because I have decided that I do not care about politics, and only care about vampires, I decided that I won't be writing about health care reform, school reform, etc. I'm just going to write about vampire reform.
What we do not realize is that this country currently has a shortage of vampire slayers. Often times they end up dead in some back alley somewhere, and they are almost always in their 20s. The average Joe might assume the poor slayer was a druggie who died of a drug overdose. They are often degraded and posthumously thought to be irresponsible adults. But that is only because no one ever thinks to check for vampire bites. Slayers have short life spans (for obvious reasons), and so there is a high turnover rate and a perpetual shortage. This is the biggest threat to America right now. Without trained vampire hunters, how can we ever hope to be safe in our beds? The vampires will surely take over the country before long!
Our most famous vampire hunter, Abraham Lincoln, was obviously an outlier. He survived well into middle age. And he was responsible for the biggest mass vampire slaying (during the Civil War) ever. He will always be remembered for his courage in battling the vampires who lived in the Southern states and would feed on plantation slaves. Thank God for the freeing of those slaves. To be sold to vampires as a midnight snack or dinner was a far worse fate than any other they could endure. Lincoln will always be remembered as our longest surviving and most influential vampire hunter.
But currently, we have another famous slayer. He is the professional vampire hunter, Barack Obama. He is the first vampire hunter since Lincoln to survive into middle age and to become a president. Bravo Mr. President. Bravo. No longer able to feed on slaves, the vampires often abduct innocent children to feed on. But more recently, they caused a giant fungal meningitis outbreak when they attacked steroid recipients receiving their injections and thereby transmitted a deadly fungus, found only on the fangs of vampires, to the patients. The news blames it on faulty hygiene concerning the injections. But all educated people on the topic know the truth...these people died of a vampire attack. And our most famous hunter, who is one of the last greats, is too busy in office to slay these savages.
So please, regardless of who you vote for, just remember that vampires are our biggest issue as a nation right now. It is no longer enough to have our presidents serving as our vampire hunters. From what I understand, Mitt Romney has been training extensively with wooden stakes and a mighty battle axe, but what about the average American? It's not about what your country can do for you. It is about what you can do for your country! Fight the good fight! Make plenty of wooden stakes. Chop some wood so you can get the feel of an axe slicing into something. We all need to get involved and rid this country of vampires and their meningitis outbreaks and other catastrophes.
Thank you all soo much for listening.
What we do not realize is that this country currently has a shortage of vampire slayers. Often times they end up dead in some back alley somewhere, and they are almost always in their 20s. The average Joe might assume the poor slayer was a druggie who died of a drug overdose. They are often degraded and posthumously thought to be irresponsible adults. But that is only because no one ever thinks to check for vampire bites. Slayers have short life spans (for obvious reasons), and so there is a high turnover rate and a perpetual shortage. This is the biggest threat to America right now. Without trained vampire hunters, how can we ever hope to be safe in our beds? The vampires will surely take over the country before long!
Our most famous vampire hunter, Abraham Lincoln, was obviously an outlier. He survived well into middle age. And he was responsible for the biggest mass vampire slaying (during the Civil War) ever. He will always be remembered for his courage in battling the vampires who lived in the Southern states and would feed on plantation slaves. Thank God for the freeing of those slaves. To be sold to vampires as a midnight snack or dinner was a far worse fate than any other they could endure. Lincoln will always be remembered as our longest surviving and most influential vampire hunter.
But currently, we have another famous slayer. He is the professional vampire hunter, Barack Obama. He is the first vampire hunter since Lincoln to survive into middle age and to become a president. Bravo Mr. President. Bravo. No longer able to feed on slaves, the vampires often abduct innocent children to feed on. But more recently, they caused a giant fungal meningitis outbreak when they attacked steroid recipients receiving their injections and thereby transmitted a deadly fungus, found only on the fangs of vampires, to the patients. The news blames it on faulty hygiene concerning the injections. But all educated people on the topic know the truth...these people died of a vampire attack. And our most famous hunter, who is one of the last greats, is too busy in office to slay these savages.
So please, regardless of who you vote for, just remember that vampires are our biggest issue as a nation right now. It is no longer enough to have our presidents serving as our vampire hunters. From what I understand, Mitt Romney has been training extensively with wooden stakes and a mighty battle axe, but what about the average American? It's not about what your country can do for you. It is about what you can do for your country! Fight the good fight! Make plenty of wooden stakes. Chop some wood so you can get the feel of an axe slicing into something. We all need to get involved and rid this country of vampires and their meningitis outbreaks and other catastrophes.
Thank you all soo much for listening.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Yoga :)
It's been a while since I wrote on here (didn't think there was too much interesting to say...keyboarding is so much different than putting a pen to paper. It's a different kind of thought process.).
But just for kicks, I am going to write about yoga. I had no idea how effective yoga can be. Where has it been all my life! I have tried yoga videos in the past, and I found myself to be too unwieldly to manage it. I am so clumsy and inflexible and could never get past much more than 20 minutes of the routines. However, I just checked out a yoga book, and Wow! Somehow, that book made all the difference. It's called Moving Towards Balance: 8 Weeks of Yoga With Rodney Yee. It provides pictures and instructions on how to complete a different yoga routine every day for 8 weeks. It is really helping with my back pain and flexibility issues. I really think part of the reason it is so effective for me is because it is in book form. I am not trying so hard to follow along with a video and go at that pace. I can stop when I want with the book, I can shorten the routine, I can do it faster, I can listen to music, I can watch TV. It is a whole other yoga experience. I never thought I would end up a yoga fan, but it has helped my neck and shoulder pain so much that I want to do it every night...even when I think I might be too tired to do it. I was so tired last night that I thought I would skip. But I know how much it loosens up my back, so I did it anyhow. It was a good choice :)
But just for kicks, I am going to write about yoga. I had no idea how effective yoga can be. Where has it been all my life! I have tried yoga videos in the past, and I found myself to be too unwieldly to manage it. I am so clumsy and inflexible and could never get past much more than 20 minutes of the routines. However, I just checked out a yoga book, and Wow! Somehow, that book made all the difference. It's called Moving Towards Balance: 8 Weeks of Yoga With Rodney Yee. It provides pictures and instructions on how to complete a different yoga routine every day for 8 weeks. It is really helping with my back pain and flexibility issues. I really think part of the reason it is so effective for me is because it is in book form. I am not trying so hard to follow along with a video and go at that pace. I can stop when I want with the book, I can shorten the routine, I can do it faster, I can listen to music, I can watch TV. It is a whole other yoga experience. I never thought I would end up a yoga fan, but it has helped my neck and shoulder pain so much that I want to do it every night...even when I think I might be too tired to do it. I was so tired last night that I thought I would skip. But I know how much it loosens up my back, so I did it anyhow. It was a good choice :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)