Again, I think of the "certain lens" subject. In my last post, I wrote about Juan (I'm pretty sure everyone who cares has seen the episode by now), and how Rodrigo buries him in The Borgia's. Rodrigo, the only person who seems truly heartbroken that his son has died, carries Juan outside and buries him. But the body Rodrigo sees is not his adult child. He sees Juan as a little boy, dead in his arms.
Sometimes, I feel like I am ruled by nightmares. Only they aren't happening at night. They are happening during the day. And I see certain people through those nightmares. It's like in The Hunger Games series, where the Capitol has the ability to "hijack" people. They give them trackerjack venom (the venom of ultra poisonous bees. It has the ability to make people very paranoid and suspicious). They can actually distort your feelings for people by showing you images of that person while you have trackerjack venom inside of you. That way you see the person through a very frightened and suspicious lens, and you can be turned against that person.
I think I've been hijacked sometimes. I have such bad memories, and I can't stop seeing some people in a certain light (and it's not a good one). I wish my memories could be hijacked in a good way.
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